As Republicans finally face the stark realization that they’re going to be voting for a really crappy candidate in November, be on the lookout for some virulent flare-ups of Obama Derangement Syndrome.

Jonah Goldberg is far from the wingnuttiest wingnut in the blogosphere, but this take is truly bizarre:

President Obama’s State of the Union address was disgusting. . . .

He said of the military: “At a time when too many of our institutions have let us down, they exceed all expectations. They’re not consumed with personal ambition. They don’t obsess over their differences. They focus on the mission at hand. They work together. Imagine what we could accomplish if we followed their example. Think about the America within our reach.”

That is disgusting.

What Obama is saying, quite plainly, is that America would be better off if it wasn’t America any longer. He’s making the case not for American exceptionalism, but for Spartan exceptionalism.

Huh?

I think Mr. Goldberg could use some professional help.

There’s a saying among football coaches: If you have two quarterbacks, you don’t have any quarterbacks. That’s the state of the GOP right now. Republican voters are flip-flopping between two deeply flawed presidential candidates. Forty-eight hours ago, Newt Gingrich had the upper hand. Today it’s Mitt Romney. Nobody likes either of them. This is not good . . . for Republicans.

But I love it.

I guess I just don’t understand political “likability”. George W. Bush was a guy I was supposed to want to have a beer with, but I couldn’t stand the smirking little towel snapper. And now everyone seems to hate Mitt Romney. Even his supporters don’t like him.

Why, pray tell? He seems like a decent enough person. A horrible candidate, for sure, but what’s to hate?

I don’t get it.

FOX — Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney shocked supporters today by endorsing Newt Gingrich, praising the former House Speaker as “a stand-up guy” and “a staunch defender of free enterprise.”

Romney said he was endorsing Gingrich as a “private citizen” and that his own presidential campaign would continue.

“This endorsement is about jobs,” said Romney, in an exclusive interview with Steve Doocy. “I looked at the Speaker’s tax proposal and realized that under his plan, job creators get to keep all their money instead of just 85% of it. Last year, for example, under the Gingrich plan, I would have taken home my full $20,000,000 in carried interest instead of a paltry $17,220,000. Imagine how many more jobs I could have created with that extra cash.”

Under the Gingrich plan, taxes on capital gains would be reduced to zero.

Asked if there wasn’t an inherent contradiction in endorsing one’s opponent, Romney was firm.

“Absolutely not,” he said. “As a wealthy job creator, it would be unseemly for me to propose eliminating my own tax burden, even though I know it’s the right thing to do for the poor. That’s the unfortunate nature of politics.”

Romney isn’t worried that his endorsement of Gingrich will bolster charges that he’s a “flip-flopper”.

“This election isn’t about Mitt Romney,” he said. “If I didn’t want to be president so bad I can taste it, I’d vote for Newt Gingrich in a heartbeat, even though he’s a dangerous hypocrite. I trust that voters are smart enough to do what’s best for themselves and for America. Whatever that is.”

His taxes attracting attacks,
He’s lacking the facts to relax.
He called Warren Buffett
And told him to stuff it:
“I’m taxingly taxed to the max!”

The opportunity to secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. — Sun Tzu

I wish it were otherwise, but the United States is engaged in a political civil war. Until Republicans stop trying to give unfettered control over every aspect of American life to the 1%, Democrats are our only electoral hope. The Dylan Ratigans of the world (who blur the distinction between the two parties) probably mean well, but their lofty bipartisanship is dangerous. Republicans must not be allowed to govern. It’s that simple.

Fortunately, the stars seem to be aligning our way. Barack Obama, after a long romance with the preposterous idea of working with Mitch McConnell, has wised up. The economy is showing signs of life. And — incredibly! — Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are engaged in a death match to see who gets the Republican presidential nomination.

Romney versus Gingrich in 2012 is the exact opposite of Hillary versus Obama in 2008. The latter was a contest between two superior candidates, each of whose positive qualities far outweighed their negative ones. As for Mitt and Newt. . .

Well, Newt Gingrich is unelectable. Period. His negatives have negatives. And Mitt Romney’s single significant positive — his “business experience” — is on a slow boast to the Cayman Islands, where his money (taxed, we now learn, at a paltry 13.9%) is stashed. He’s soon to be a flip-flopper without portfolio.

Not only are Gingrich and Romney horrible candidates, but Republican extremists are forcing them to argue over which man can act like a bigger asshole in a debate with Barack Obama. Gingrich already is an asshole, and Romney is on his way to becoming one.

This two-headed monster should be a gift that keeps on giving. In tonight’s State of the Union speech, Obama needs to find as many ways as possible of letting viewers know what the Republican Party has in store for them.

And please. Easy on the bipartisanship.

It’s 8:45 and I’ve seen enough. Four guys acting like assholes.

Whoever gets the nomination will get crushed by Obama. They’ve got no ideas, no personalities, and no game — just slogans, vitriol, and lots of nasty baggage.

It’s really embarrassing.

In an exclusive interview with ABC News’ Brian Ross, Marianne Gingrich claims her ex-husband wanted an open marriage. “He came to her and said, ‘I want to stay married to you and still have an affair with Calista, his current wife,” said Ross. “According to Marianne, he said ‘You need to share me,’ and she said ‘I don’t want to share,’ and the marriage ended.” – Think Progress

I am large, quite frankly.
I contain multitudes.

My soul is vast and unwieldy.
It waddles in her presence.

Wait! Look there! A blond staffer!
You must share me, Marianne.
The tired ways of Washington matrimony I reject.

Do I contradict myself?
Did I not climb on my high horse to savage Bill Clinton?
Very well then, I contradict myself.

I am large, quite frankly.
I contain multitudes.

Bill Clinton at least had the decency to go sneaking around behind Hillary’s back.

CNN — Republican presidential front-runner Mitt Romney plans to “recharge his batteries” by taking a brief vacation in the Cayman Islands following the South Carolina primary.

Acknowledging that “the Governor is feeling the heat” over questions about his personal finances, a Romney spokesman said the candidate “wants to spend some quality time with his money” before heading off to campaign in Florida.

“The Cayman Islands are a hop, a skip, and a jump from Palm Beach anyway,” said the spokesman. “After the Governor recharges his batteries in his second favorite place on Earth, he’ll be better able to defend himself against all the false allegations swirling around him and his immense wealth.”

Newt Gingrich, Romney’s chief Republican rival, called the proposed Caribbean vacation “grotesque”.

“This is yet another illustration of how out of touch Mitt Romney is with the concerns of ordinary Americans,” said Gingrich.  “I’m going to pummel him at tonight’s debate.”