A Republican apparatchik at The Weekly Standard directs my attention to some polling which supposedly proves that voters are solidly behind the actions of the teabaggers currently running Congress. Naturally, I’m skeptical.
The poll, it turns out, was conducted by an outfit called Resurgent Republic. A quick perusal of its board of directors page reveals, right at the top — who else? — that Zelig of corporate bagmen — Republican bullshitter extraordinaire — Karl Rove’s Mini-Me — none other than Ed Gillespie! Now I’m really suspicious.
With trepidation I examine their polling methodology. Perhaps this one time, these guys won’t be lying through their teeth. Perhaps my faith in the innate decency of my political adversaries will finally be restored.
Alas . . . No. Indeed . . . Hell No!
I’m no pollster, but you don’t have to be George Gallup to figure out that these question set-ups are as loaded as Lindsay Lohan:
Congressman A says we should not cut 100 billion dollars out of current federal spending. Cutting that much means slashing funding for important programs like education, the Environmental Protection Agency, and border security.
Congressman B says we should cut 100 billion dollars out of current federal spending. Individuals and families are making do with less, and the government needs to do the same. We have got to stop spending money we don’t have.
Congressman A says the spending cuts in the Republican budget are too severe and go too far. These proposed cuts will destroy American jobs and hurt middle-class families, young adults, seniors, and veterans. We can’t win the future if we don’t invest to meet our needs.
Congressman B says spending cuts are necessary to get government spending back to a level we can afford and produce a better environment for creating private sector jobs. While there may be disagreements about particular programs that should be scaled back, we have to stop bankrupting our country and mortgaging our children’s future.
Congressman A says Social Security will not face budget problems until 2037, so we need to focus our attention on our immediate budget problems and leave Social Security alone. Take Social Security off the table.
Congressman B says Social Security is in real trouble because of so many retiring baby boomers. We can save Social Security with minor benefit adjustments for people age 55 and under, and we should do that now rather than wait until the program faces a crisis.
You know, that Congressman B sure sounds reasonable. And I like how he always gets to go second. As a matter of fact . . . I think I’m a Republican now!