Posted by: Rick | Wednesday, September 9, 2009

If Bill Belichick Coached Football The Way Max Baucus Writes Legislation…

Reporter:  Coach, everyone agreed going into today’s game that the Patriots had the superior team.  You were up 28-0 in the first quarter.  Why did you then pull Tom Brady, as well as your entire starting defense?

Belichick:  I have great respect for the coaches and players on the Buffalo Bills.  They deserved to win this game just as much as we did.  I wanted to give them a chance to contribute to the final outcome without the hindrance of competing against my best players.

Reporter:  Buffalo ended up winning the game 35-28.  What do you have to say to your fans?

Belichick:  The process worked.  Any time we can achieve a fair result, in a spirit of bipartisanship, it’s good for everybody.

Reporter:  I asked the Bills’ head coach if he would return the favor and rest his own starters the next time he played your team.  He said, and I quote:  “F–k no!! Belichick is a f—king moron!”  What’s your response?

Belichick:  Dick Jauron is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.  I’m sure we’ll work things out at halftime.

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