Posted by: Rick | Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What John Boehner Should Have Said About the Joe Wilson House Resolution

“Us Republicans is always complainin’ we got no time to read all them long-ass, big gov’ment laws the Democrats is writin’ — and it’s the gospel truth, people.  A body gets plum tuckered out followin’ the whereases and therefores that drop like turds in this place.  But I gots to admit, even I can understand this’n:

Whereas on September 9, 2009, during the joint session of Congress convened pursuant to House Concurrent Resolution 179, the President of the United States, speaking at the invitation of the House and Senate, had his remarks interrupted by the Representative from South Carolina, Mr. Wilson; and whereas the conduct of the Representative from South Carolina was a breach of decorum and degraded the proceedings of the joint session, to the discredit of the House:

Now, therefore, be it resolved, that the House of Representatives disapproves of the behavior of the Representative from South Carolina, Mr. Wilson, during the joint session of Congress held on September 9, 2009.

“Yup — Ol’ Steny sure nailed it.  See, we always knew Joe was dumber’n a box o’ rocks.  Hell, he drinks the moonshine the rest of us Republicans just ladle out to keep the crazies from primaryin’ our white asses out of a job.

“Joe went and embarrassed the shit out of Congress, and he’s gettin’ a slap on the wrist.  So I’m gonna do the right thing, vote ‘yea’ on this little character-builder, and move on to the people’s business.”




  1. Wow, so many metaphors. I’ll have to work on translating that to Yankee.

    • Don’t bother. That’s the voice you should hear whenever a Republican speaks.

      Northern Republicans are going extinct. The few that survive have no say in what the national party decides to do.


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