Posted by: Rick | Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Nine Circles of Political Hell (Health Care Edition)

After Dante’s Inferno:

First Circle: Limbo   Barack Obama, the avatar of pointless and doomed bipartisanship, stands here alone.  But there’s still time for him to climb back up to the light.

Second Circle: The Lustful   David Vitter, Mark Sanford.  These men are too busy tending to their carnal needs to think about the health of anyone else.

Third Circle: The Gluttonous   Rush Limbaugh.  Ditto, although his prodigious carnality revolves around a forty-ounce prime rib, two bottles of Cabernet, and an absurdly expensive postprandial cigar. 

Fourth Circle: The Avaricious   Jim Cramer, Maria Bartiromo, The Wall Street Journal Editorial Board.  These capitalist tools, who have very good insurance, are contemptuous of those who don’t.  For them, health care is strictly a business, and to expect Aetna and Company not to abuse their customers is to be anti-growth and un-American.

Fifth Circle: The Wrathful   Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity.  Having no interest in health care or any other issue involving a positive role for government, they use regular displays of anger to make an emotional connection with the white middle class.  They do it primarily to make money, although the anger is real on both sides — a symbiotic relationship run amuck, much to the detriment of rational discourse.

Sixth Circle: The Heretics:  Kent Conrad, Max Baucus.  They profess to believe that a weak health care cooperative is just as good as a strong public option.  Perhaps they can set one up in Hell.

Seventh Circle: The Violent   Glenn Beck, Joe Wilson.  These people ratchet up — by several dangerous, critical notches — the anger of the teabaggers.  Van Jones . . .  ACORN . . . missing Hawaiian birth certificates.  Action seems required and inevitable.

Eighth Circle: The Fraudulent   Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, The Insurance Lobby.  No lie is beyond the pale.  No dollar will be left unspent propagating them.  Power and profit must be served.

Ninth Circle: The Treacherous   Joe Lieberman.  Because he belongs here.

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