Posted by: Rick | Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Infallible Teachings of Bill Bennett

I’ve often argued that Republicans don’t have any ideas.  I’ve said they can’t govern.  I’ve even called them stupid, greedy assholes.  But I now realize that in my blinkered partisanship, I’ve been ignoring the blessed fact that Republicans receive political guidance from the greatest moral teacher and gin-swilling trencherman of our time: William J. Bennett. 

O what a blessing it is to finally and fully partake in the Wisdom of the Blowhard!  He has removed the scales of compassion from my eyes.  To wretchedly sinful left-wingers such as I, he now reveals the sacred and eternal will of the people, to which all true Americans must submit:

The National Journal aggregation of polls has a 7 percent national opposition deficit (50 percent oppose, 43 percent support).  Not one Republican — not Olympia Snowe, not Sue Collins, not Tom Coburn, and not Jim Inhofe — is supporting this.  And the president absolutely ruined his approval ratings on this: Gallup now has 47 percent of the American people approving of his presidency, 47 percent opposing; for two days last week, he had more disapproving than approving of him (47 to 46).  Last night’s vote still had 34 Democrats voting against it, which means that more Democrats joined Republican opposition than did Republicans join Democrats in support.  By definition, this is not middle of the road.

How dare Barack Obama pass a health care bill with a mere majority in Congress!  And then try to bamboozle us into thinking the process was somehow “legitimate”!  Why, it’s nothing but a power grab!  Not only was Obama down 1% in the polls last week, but James Inhofe doesn’t like him!  How can he even look at himself in his shaving mirror?

I’m ashamed of ever having supported such a wicked, wicked man and his “Obamacare” (the vile spawn of “Hillarycare”). The President can burn in hell if he wants to.  I shall repent. 

Henceforth, the weekly polling data, as interpreted by Bill Bennett, will serve as my faithful Star of Bethlehem in all matters political.



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