Posted by: Rick | Monday, April 5, 2010

The Chairman: A Poem (With Apologies To Michael Steele And Edgar Allan Poe)

Once upon a midnight dreary, with my eyes red-rimmed and bleary
(Having late perused fell stories of my party’s sins of yore)
I heard outside a distant rumbling, followed hard by footsteps stumbling —
Then a voice came meekly mumbling, mumbling at my chamber door.
I heard the sound of tumblers tumbling, op’ning wide my chamber door:
The Chairman now I stood before!

I knew full well the crimes of Nixon, knew Scalia put the fix in
When my party’s leaders learned that Bush had really lost to Gore;
But I’d never heard of donors spanking strippers, sprouting boners,
While the party’s rightful owners paid the tab that they might score.
Alas! We paid the tab so donors might with kinky strippers score.
Now quoth the Chairman: “Nevermore.”

Was this a promise I ought credit? If I did, would I regret it?
Vexing thoughts like these reached deep into my soul’s uneasy core.
I gazed upon a bust of Lincoln, hoping I might thereby drink in
Wisdom which might later sink in while I stood inside my door —
When the Chairman’s minions asked for money just inside my door.
Quoth Mister Lincoln: “Nevermore!”

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