Posted by: Rick | Monday, October 18, 2010

Political Percentages (Crunch Time Edition)

Chance that Republicans take over the House: 60%

Chance that Republicans take over the Senate: 20%

Chance that Harry Reid loses to Sharron Angle: 33%

Tea Party Republicans who in 2011 will forget about their “principles” and toe the Boehner-McConnell corporate line: 75%

Chance that Sean Hannity will hypocritically cheer as the Tea Party gets assimilated by the Corporate Borg: 100%

Republicans who will work with President Obama in 2011 to strengthen the economy: 0.1%

Chance that by 2012 the economy will be a winning issue for President Obama: 70%

Republicans who will try to take credit in 2012 for an improved economy: 99.9%

Chance that Republicans will attempt to shut down the government in 2011: 25%

Chance that Republicans will begin moving to impeach President Obama in 2011: 90%

Pundits in 2011 who will say that Democrats need to move to the right: 85%

Pundits in 2011 who will say that Republicans need to move to the left: 40%

Blue Dog Democrats in 2011 who will try to sound even more like Republicans: 97%

Chance that Sarah Palin will seek the 2012 Republican presidential nomination: 50%

Chance that Sarah Palin actually wants the 2012 Republican presidential nomination: 10%

Chance that Sarah Palin, if she ran, and if she avoided all major gaffes and scandals, would win the 2012 Republican presidential nomination: 95%

Chance that Christine O’Donnell will soon have her own show on Fox News: 100%

Chance that Mitch McConnell will look less like a turtle in 2012 than he does now: 50%

BONUS QUESTION: Which of the following phrases best describes the Republican agenda we’re likely to see in 2011?

a) “A Plan For National Renewal”
b) “A Fragrant Bouquet Of Wildflowers”
c) “A Vast Bowl Of Pus”

The correct answer is (c).  It remains to be seen how the media will report it.

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Responses

  1. The chance America has to recover from the recession if Democrats retain both the House and Senate: 0%

    The chance that Americans will fall for the progressive lies: 10%


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