Posted by: Rick | Friday, November 5, 2010

My Pet Obama Theory

"A fair trial, followed by a quick hanging." -- Judge Gohmert

According to recent polling, a plurality of Republicans want the issue of Barack Obama’s citizenship to be thoroughly investigated.  Presumably, these folks think the president is some kind of Islamicized Manchurian candidate.  This seems idiotic and crazy to me, but Republican voters have spoken — and Republican leaders (unlike their Democratic counterparts) are extremely solicitous of their base.  I suggest that Speaker Boehner put Congressman Louie Gohmert on the birther case.  One ignoramus to rule them all!                

Not to be outdone, I’ve formulated my own theory about Obama’s true identity.  Read the following and tell me you aren’t convinced that Barack Obama — far from being a loyal member of the Democratic Party is — in fact — a Republican mole:              

Q    Thank you, Mr. President.  Are you willing to concede at all that what happened last night was not just an expression of frustration about the economy, but a fundamental rejection of your agenda?  And given the results, who do you think speaks to the true voice of the American people right now:  you or John Boehner?             

THE PRESIDENT:  I think that there is no doubt that people’s number-one’s concern is the economy.  And what they were expressing great frustration about is the fact that we haven’t made enough progress on the economy.  We’ve stabilized the economy.  We’ve got job growth in the private sectors.  But people all across America aren’t feeling that progress.  They don’t see it.  And they understand that I’m the President of the United States, and that my core responsibility is making sure that we’ve got an economy that’s growing, a middle class that feels secure, that jobs are being created.  And so I think I’ve got to take direct responsibility for the fact that we have not made as much progress as we need to make.             

Now, moving forward, I think the question is going to be can Democrats and Republicans sit down together and come up with a set of ideas that address those core concerns.  I’m confident that we can.  [Emphasis added]      

This is pathetic.  The very first question of this important press conference tees it up for Obama to lay out a strong case for Democratic values, and what does the president do?  HE TALKS ABOUT GODDAMN BIPARTISANSHIP!  Who gives a rat’s ass?  Does this guy have bipartisan Tourette’s or what?  (Earth to Obama: There’s no sane “set of ideas” that Rush Limbaugh will sign on to.)     

Obama acts like a wimp for the entire press conference.  Excuse me while I find some more words for “pathetic”.       

Okay.  Here we go:           

Anemic, debilitated, decrepit, delicate, effete, enervated, exhausted, faint, feeble, flaccid, flimsy, forceless, fragile, frail, hesitant, impuissant, infirm, insubstantial, irresolute, lackadaisical, languid, languorous, limp, makeshift, out of gas, powerless, prostrate, puny, rickety, rocky, rotten, senile, shaky, sickly, sluggish, spent, spindly, supine, tender, torpid, uncertain, undependable, unsound, unsteady, unsubstantial, wasted, wavering, weakened, weakly and wobbly.  [Courtesy of]           

Don’t forget “namby-pamby”.   

I think we just saw this movie.  It sucked.  John Boehner and Mitch McConnell play hardball while Barack Obama talks about all the great ideas Republicans have.  And about how maybe they’ll play nice.      

Well, fuck that.  Out here in the Democratic hinterlands, we’re not going to eat that shit sandwich again.  If the president doesn’t change his tune, he’s going to get a primary challenge in 2012.  Guaranteed.



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