The Donald has put out a video explaining why he’s not running for president. Here’s the 411:
- When it comes to dealing with Obama, McConnell and Boehner can’t negotiate for shit.
- Paul Ryan is a wet-behind-the ears idiot who can’t play chess.
- Medicare is a good program that has some fraud and waste.
- Republicans are going to lose the House because Paul Ryan is stupid.
- Democrats are laughing at Republicans over their stupid Medicare plan.
- In the government shutdown showdown, Obama took Republicans to the cleaners on “spending cuts”.
- NBC calls every hour to beg me to not to quit my incredibly successful show.
- Eric Cantor wants to give money to foreigners who hate us, but he won’t give any money to tornado victims — which is stupid.
- I’m already rich, but NBC keeps offering me boatloads of cash to continue my incredibly successful show — and it would be stupid to refuse.
- If Republicans weren’t so stupid, I might still be running for president, because I’m a staunch conservative.
- Obama is a menace to society, and if Republicans don’t nominate somebody smart, I might run anyway — so you better keep listening to me.
Watch it here.