Posted by: Rick | Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Alien Death Ray Implodes Statue Of Liberty — Cantor Says Clean-Up Costs Must Be Offset By Spending Cuts

REUTERS — In a spectacular display of interstellar military power, an invasion force from the binary star system Zeta Reticuli has incinerated the Statue of Liberty.

Standing atop the still-smoldering rubble in New York Harbor and speaking through a universal translating device, General Pov Kelniq, leader of the alien armada, demanded that the United States surrender immediately and assist the Zeta Reticulans in the enslavement of humanity under the iron heel of galactic empire.

While President Barack Obama has issued a statement rejecting the alien demands, Republicans appear willing to seek a compromise.

“As long as the Statue of Liberty clean-up is paid for with appropriate cuts to the social safety net, I see no reason why we can’t negotiate with General Kelniq,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor. “It’s a very tempting offer. The least we can do is give it a fair hearing.”

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