Four Republican castaways — John “The Skipper” McCain, his little buddy Lindsey “Gilligan” Graham, Rob “Mr. Howell” Portman, and Rand “The Professor” Paul — recently powwowed in the Senate Lagoon Cafe over Lobster Newburg and coconut milk, and came up with something called the Jobs Through Growth Act. They claim it will create five million jobs. Needless to say, it won’t.
The steaming pile of shit this quartet has produced features all their usual turds: trickle-down tax cuts, union-busting, repeal of health care reform, more trickle-down tax cuts, repeal of Dodd-Frank (because we haven’t had a good financial meltdown in nearly three years!), offshore oil drilling, EPA gutting, deregulation of everything, and — my favorite — a Balanced Budget Amendment, so the “job creators” can have some “certainty”. The “plan” is full of dubious unsourced statements pulled directly from John McCain’s asshole: “It is estimated that greenhouse gas regulation could result in a loss to the economy of as much as $75 billion and 1.4 million jobs by 2014.” Hey, guys, why so modest? Why not make it $750 billion and 14 million?
It’s hard to see how this Satan Sandwich (thanks, Emanuel Cleaver) would create even one job, let alone five million of them, particularly since its declaration of war on “runaway spending” necessitates the firing of yet more teachers, police officers, nurses, librarians, and food inspectors.
(By the way, Eric Cantor might want to consider suing these senators for plagiarism: their Jobs Through Growth Act is almost identical to his House Republican Plan For America’s Job Creators, only with no pictures.)
UPDATE: The reviews of this “plan” are coming in, and they ain’t good:
“I don’t have enough detail to evaluate how many jobs this would create,” Gus Faucher, the director of macroeconomics at Moody’s Analytics, [said]. “I could say, `My plan is to do nothing, and it will create five million jobs.’ And it could work, particularly if I don’t say over what time period.”
Maybe you need to click your heels together three times and wish real hard. Faucher added:
“Putting the emphasis on balancing the budget now is likely to push the economy back into recession,” he said. “We’re seeing the impacts of that in Europe, where governments are undertaking fiscal austerity and their economies are struggling.”