Posted by: Rick | Tuesday, November 1, 2011

BREAKING: Cain To Consult Romney On Proper Flip-Flopping Techniques

REUTERS — After issuing numerous inconsistent statements over allegations that he sexually harassed two women in the nineteen-nineties, Republican presidential front-runner Herman Cain has announced plans to meet with his chief rival Mitt Romney to get advice on flip-flopping.

“I admit I don’t have all the answers, even when it comes to things I may or may not have done in my personal life,” said Cain in an interview with Greta Van Susteren of Fox News. “As a politician, I’m something of a work in progress. Heck, I’ve been a can-do businessman for the last twenty years. I haven’t had time to develop any poll-tested positions on my behavior, so I’ll naturally be doing a lot of flip-flopping and backpedaling until I get my stories straight. That’s why I’m seeking the advice of an expert, just as I will when I have to say something intelligent about Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan.

“In the spirit of friendly competition, Governor Romney has graciously offered to tutor me in the finer points of twisting myself into a pretzel in order to get out of a jam caused by the lies and distortions of the liberal media,” said Cain. “I am very grateful for his assistance, and I have in turn pledged to supply his campaign staff with free pizza when I select him as my running mate.”

Cain added that he will be making no further comments on the sexual harassment allegations until after his meeting with Romney.



  1. Doesn’t the Republican Party vet these guys? It seems like they don’t give a damn, who runs for any office.


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