In 1981 Republican alchemists transmuted a squirt of ketchup into a nutritious carrot. In 2011:
Congress is fighting to keep pizza and french fries on school lunch lines, picking apart an Obama administration proposal to make school lunches healthier.
A spending bill released late Monday would unravel school lunch standards proposed by the Agriculture Department earlier this year, forcing the USDA to pull back an attempt to limit potatoes on the lunch line, delaying limits on sodium and delaying a requirement to boost whole grains. The bill also would allow tomato paste on pizzas to be counted as a vegetable, as it is now.
In other news, Herman Cain has decided that Godfather’s deep-fried chicken wings are heart-healthy and should be served as a side dish with every meal in the cardiac ward.