I almost feel sorry for Republicans. They have to choose their 2012 presidential nominee from the shittiest collection of candidates ever assembled. I mean, look at the indigestible flavors of the month these poor bastards been gagging on for the past year. Donald Trump. Michele Bachmann. Rick Perry. Herman Cain. Yuck. Now even Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum is getting shoved down their throats.
But if Republicans don’t like their choices, they should — as Herman Cain might say — blame themselves. Mitch Daniels, Chris Christie, Mike Huckabee, and maybe even Jeb Bush could all have posed legitimate threats to Barack Obama — until they got into the GOP race, at which point they would have had to pander, Mitt-like, to the teabaggers and other assorted wingnuts who think they run the party. Had one of these “strong candidates” managed to secure the nomination, he immediately would have had to execute a Full Romney and flip-flop his way back to some semblance of general election viability. Looking to possibly brighter prospects in 2016, they all took a pass. Let Mitt debase himself for the wingnuts. He’s used to it, and he doesn’t seem to mind looking ridiculous.
We learned from Newt Gingrich’s December disembowelment that Republican money men aren’t fucking around anymore: They will crush anybody who seriously threatens Romney. Mitt may be a spineless jellyfish (is there any other kind?), but he’s their spineless jellyfish.
Could this farce of a Republican primary campaign be ending tomorrow? I hope so. I can’t take much more.