Posted by: Rick | Sunday, April 1, 2012

The Case For Romney-Ryan

Paul Ryan will be Mitt Romney’s running mate, and here’s why:

1) As a presidential candidate, Mitt Romney is a nightmarish blend of Michael Dukakis and John Kerry, and he’s going to lose in November.

2) Republican heavyweights (Mitch Daniels, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee) didn’t want to pander to the Tea Party in 2012. (They left that up to Romney.) But they want to be there to pick up the pieces in 2016.

3) Contrary to conventional wisdom, Romney’s running mate does not need to have foreign policy experience. The less said about foreign policy, the better.

4) Romney’s running mate cannot be a woman. It’s too soon after Palin.

5) No Republican heavyweight will run with Romney. (See points 1 and 2.)

6) Romney’s running mate must be a bona fide right-wing extremist who excites the teabaggers.

7) While it would be good to have a Hispanic on the ticket, it can’t be just any Hispanic. (See point 6.) Marco Rubio fills the bill, but unfortunately, he looks like he hasn’t started shaving yet.

8) Mitt Romney is the candidate of the 1%. Paul Ryan’s budget, which Romney endorses, is the budget of the 1%. Romney can’t run away from this. The Democrats won’t let him.

9) Paul Ryan is masterful at defending his preposterous budget. Contrary to his reputation as a policy wonk, Ryan speaks only in sound bites and slogans. He’s extremely disciplined, and the media is afraid to criticize him.

10) Among the wingnuts, Paul Ryan walks on water.

11) If Ryan runs with Romney, and Romney loses, Ryan will get none of the blame. (See point 1.) Indeed, if he acquits himself well among Republicans, he immediately becomes the front-runner for 2016, vaulting over the former heavyweights.

Case closed.

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